It occurs to me that I didn’t really explain why I felt so compelled to put my hair into dreadlocks. The thing is, there were lots of reasons, but the biggest one was that I have been feeling so lost lately.
I feel like I’m wondering through life, marriage, motherhood without a map. And, although that’s just life, it’s never bothered me much before. Even though I couldn’t guarantee my future, I’ve always had at least a rough plan of what I wanted to happen in my life. And I just have no plan anymore. My life makes zero sense these days, and I feel like I’m losing my mind most days.
So I guess I just needed to have some way to take control. I needed to be in charge of something in my life, even if it just my physical appearance. So I got my nose pierced and put my hair into dreadlocks. Both of those things, by the way, I’ve wanted for a long time and just never had the courage until now.
So, now I’m 27 dreads in, with a few sections left to put into dreads! Thing is, my head is beyond itchy!! If I didn’t have a pre-existing itchy scalp, maybe it wouldn’t be such an issue, but i was already using t-gel every time I washed my hair to help my scalp. Now, it’s just gotten so bad! I’ve decided that I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to comb my dreads out. Maybe I’ll leave one or two underneath because I love them so much, but we’ll see. I hate doing this because I was so insistent on doing it, but it must be done. I can’t stay up all night itching again!
At least I still have my nose ring.