The Most Akward Conversation I’ve EVER Had

There’s a new show on T.V. right now called ‘The Lottery.’ A couple weeks ago, I was visiting my mom and we decided to watch the pilot episode, not thinking anything of my 11-year-old brother being in the room. Now, the show isn’t terribly inappropriate, but it does talk a lot about fertility and babies.

As we’re watching the show, my brother suddenly pipes up with the dreaded question, “How are babies made?”

O.M.G.

My poor mother. Put on the spot, totally unprepared, just wants to relax. But now she’s gotta give an impromptu sex talk. And I’m right there to revel in her awkwardness! 

My mom decides to just be honest with him. “A baby is made when a man’s sperm comes into contact with a woman’s egg…”

“But how does that happen???”

I’m hysterical. “They have sex!” I say it before I even realize I’m saying it. I’m a grown-up.

As my mom turns to give me a death-glare, my brother says, “Ew, no, the woman drinks the sperm and her egg hatches like a chicken!”

Thank goodness I didn’t have any liquids in my mouth, because they would have been sprayed all over the living room. I can hardly contain myself! She drinks the sperm and her egg hatches?? 

As my mom and I laugh uncontrollably, he continues on to say, “Yeah, and I know where you get the sperm, too! It’s lemonade! A man pees and his sperm makes the lemonade! You can buy it in stores…”

We look at him like he’s coocoo for coco puffs. My mom turns the show back on and says, “No more questions.”

Awkward.

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5 thoughts on “The Most Akward Conversation I’ve EVER Had

  1. Omg!! I would have died!! My daughter was 4 she she asked my husband how babies were made. His face lost all color and he started with, well a baby grows in a moms tummy…my daughter rolled her eyes and said “not those babies, I meant doll babies, plastic ones, you know at the store”. I about died! His face was priceless!

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    • Wow! What a stinker, rolling her eyes! Your poor hubby! I just think the unplanned talks are the greatest stories! I really think parents should sit down and talk with their kids about this subject at some point, but our timing and their timing can be so off! Makes for great stories, though 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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