There’s a new show on T.V. right now called ‘The Lottery.’ A couple weeks ago, I was visiting my mom and we decided to watch the pilot episode, not thinking anything of my 11-year-old brother being in the room. Now, the show isn’t terribly inappropriate, but it does talk a lot about fertility and babies.
As we’re watching the show, my brother suddenly pipes up with the dreaded question, “How are babies made?”
My poor mother. Put on the spot, totally unprepared, just wants to relax. But now she’s gotta give an impromptu sex talk. And I’m right there to revel in her awkwardness!
My mom decides to just be honest with him. “A baby is made when a man’s sperm comes into contact with a woman’s egg…”
“But how does that happen???”
I’m hysterical. “They have sex!” I say it before I even realize I’m saying it. I’m a grown-up.
As my mom turns to give me a death-glare, my brother says, “Ew, no, the woman drinks the sperm and her egg hatches like a chicken!”
Thank goodness I didn’t have any liquids in my mouth, because they would have been sprayed all over the living room. I can hardly contain myself! She drinks the sperm and her egg hatches??
As my mom and I laugh uncontrollably, he continues on to say, “Yeah, and I know where you get the sperm, too! It’s lemonade! A man pees and his sperm makes the lemonade! You can buy it in stores…”
We look at him like he’s coocoo for coco puffs. My mom turns the show back on and says, “No more questions.”